Wanting from Wovenness: Growing into a Circle of Instigators

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

 “Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” – Henry Ford

“There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about.” – Margaret J. Wheatley

A Roadmap of Wanting Well

Throughout this “wanting well” journey, we’ve explored how our desires form and mature. We began by “wanting from windows,” noticing how easily we mimic the desires we see in others. Then we examined “wanting from wounds,” confronting painful experiences that can distort our longings. After moving toward healing, we sought “wanting from wholeness,” integrating healthier, more authentic desires. Finally, we embraced “wanting from worldview and worship,” aligning our desires with our core values and the larger narratives that guide our lives.Now we reach the culminating stage: wanting from wovenness. Here, our refined desires find their fullest expression not in isolation, but woven into communities united by trust, empathy, and a common purpose. In this highest form of wanting, personal growth ignites collective impact, showing us how a “circle of instigators” can reshape both our inner landscapes and the world around us.

What is Wovenness?

Wovenness is the state in which people who have clarified and aligned their values are fully integrated into a close-knit, high-trust community united by shared purpose and deep mutual support, all working together toward a greater common good. When our mature desires are nurtured within such groups, formed by deep relational trust, shared moral imagination, and a committed purpose that seeks to enhance human flourishing, something remarkable occurs.

Think of it as the difference between a single thread and a tapestry. A thread alone has limited strength or beauty, but when woven together with others, it becomes part of an intricate design capable of influencing entire cultural, economic, or spiritual landscapes. In wovenness, individual aspirations converge with a community’s creative moral imagination, courage, and compassionate action.

Pause and reflect: The thread-vs-tapestry metaphor suggests strength emerges when lives intertwine. Share a real-life example that illustrates this metaphor for you.

A Note on Historical Memory

Look through history’s greatest transformations—those that abolished injustice, sparked cultural renaissances, reconfigured economic systems, or catalyzed social reforms—and you’ll often find small, tightly woven groups at their center. Yet our language and historical narratives rarely name or highlight these collaborative circles. Instead, we tend to celebrate heroic individuals, overshadowing the synergy and sustained effort of the groups behind them.

Whether shaping policy, moral norms, cultural expression, or market structures, these circles of instigators often remain hidden in the footnotes, quietly framing the visions and strategies that charismatic leaders or innovative entrepreneurs carry into the spotlight. Wovenness offers a lens to rediscover and name these crucial communities—be they reform-minded committees, artistic collectives, entrepreneurial cohorts, or pioneering business ecosystems forging new market paradigms. By understanding how their collective moral imagination, strategic collaboration, and mutual support propelled pivotal changes, we restore narrative balance, acknowledging that many enduring societal and economic evolutions arose not from solitary genius, but from values-driven cooperation and shared purpose.

Circles of Instigators: Woven Communities of Moral Imagination

A circle of instigators is a community that promotes personal integrity, sparks innovation, and encourages daring visions of the common good. Members challenge each other to tackle persistent problems, pioneer sustainable enterprises, or reimagine cultural norms that restrict human potential. Within such a group, trust and openness are high, while the shared purpose—whether social reform, cultural renewal, entrepreneurial venture creation, or educational innovation—expands everyone’s horizons.

Intimacy and Creative Moral Imagination: The 2×2 Framework

To understand how wovenness differs from ordinary group life, imagine two axes:

Vertical Axis (Openness & Intimacy, from surface to depth):

Adapted from Bill George and Doug Baker’s True North Groups, this ranges from shallow, surface-level connections at the bottom to profound honesty, vulnerability, and personal transformation at the top.

Base (Low Openness & Intimacy):
Groups such as hobby clubs or social meetups offer enjoyable but surface-level engagement. While friendly, these connections provide limited trust and honesty. Without depth, they seldom support significant personal insight or collaborative resilience. The benefit here is low risk—no one must reveal vulnerabilities—but the payoff is minimal, yielding little personal or collective transformation.

Top (High Openness & Intimacy):
True North Groups, 12-step programs, prayer circles, and grief support communities model profound honesty, empathy, and moral reflection. By openly discussing fears, failures, ethical questions, and spiritual longings, members align their lives with core principles. Although riskier—exposing one’s inner self to potential judgment—the rewards are substantial. High intimacy unlocks deeper self-awareness, emotional healing, and moral anchoring. It creates a foundation of trust so resilient that disagreements and challenges can be navigated constructively. As personal authenticity flourishes, the group gains insight, unity, and moral energy. This depth sets the stage for wovenness, where the community not only supports individual growth but also channels it into purposeful action.

Climbing this vertical axis involves courage. Yet as intimacy deepens, so do the benefits: richer self-knowledge, stronger emotional resilience, clearer moral direction, and a more cohesive, generative group. This depth in relationships lays the groundwork for channeling personal and interpersonal growth into a shared quest that extends beyond the group itself—defining a key facet of wovenness.

Horizontal Axis (Creative Moral Imagination):

A continuum of creative moral imagination yields impactful results in the surrounding ecosystem of which the circle of instigators is at the center.

By combining these axes, we get a 2×2 matrix:

Pause and reflect: Plot one of your own groups (family, church, startup cohort, sports team) on the matrix. Where does it land and why?

Attributes of Woven Communities

Woven communities share key attributes:

1. Unspoken Commitment to Equality & Mutual Honor
2. First Among Equals: Humble leaders, selected by the group, guide and facilitate rather than dominate, inviting every voice to shape the group’s direction.
3. Vulnerability
4. Friendship Before Formality: Personal bonds matter more than titles or roles.
5. Supportive Collaboration: Goodwill and empathy replace envy and competition, fostering stable, enduring cooperation.
6. Mutual Care and Support: Members invest in each other’s well-being, growth, and resilience.
7. Shared Vision of the Common Good: Their purpose transcends self-interest, whether it’s addressing social ills, building impactful enterprises, or designing sustainable systems that promote long-term prosperity.
8. Courageous Discontent: They refuse to accept the status quo, turning dissatisfaction into creative, value-generating solutions.

Wovenness in Action: Fourteen Circles of Instigators

Below are brief vignettes spanning three centuries and multiple domains. Each combines high openness & intimacy with high creative moral imagination. Six are spotlighted below.

Pause and reflect: Choose one historical circle in the table. What surprised you about the factors that made it woven?

Spotlights on Six Circles:

Jesus & the Twelve
High intimacy and creative moral imagination combined. A small circle of friends lived, taught, and inspired moral visions that continue to shape education, healthcare, and humanitarian values globally. 

The Clapham Circle
A network of about 20–25 reformers confronted entrenched injustices like the slave trade. Their unity, debate, and shared moral vision freed over 800,000 enslaved people, established humane labor standards, and advanced educational reforms. Often overshadowed by a few prominent names, this circle’s synergy proved essential in creating enduring policy and cultural shifts.

The American Founding Fathers
Often viewed through the lens of towering individuals—Washington, Jefferson, Madison, Hamilton, Franklin—this was, in reality, a closely knit circle of political philosophers, statesmen, and instigators who debated, drafted, and refined the governing framework of the United States. Their mix of deep trust, robust argument, and shared moral vision catalyzed a radical shift in governance and personal liberty.

The PayPal Mafia
The early PayPal team, including Elon Musk, Peter Thiel, Reid Hoffman, Max Levchin, and others, cultivated a culture of high trust, relentless problem-solving, and shared ambition. Though they have since branched out individually, their tight relationships and collective ethos proved foundational to multiple groundbreaking ventures that reshaped finance, social media, automotive, and space industries.

The All-In Circle
Chamath Palihapitiya, Jason Calacanis, David Friedberg, and David Sacks spun a private Zoom back-channel into the All-In podcast, now a chart-topping show with 250-plus episodes that broadcasts their candid, data-driven debates to millions. Palihapitiya and Sacks’ increasingly active political engagement signaled a new political current inside tech. After Trump’s election victory, Sacks moved from commentary to governance as the White House AI & Crypto “Czar,” tasked with drafting pro-innovation rules the hosts had long championed.  Week after week the quartet pressed for U.S. energy independence—often touting advanced nuclear power—and lighter-touch regulation for start-ups.

Their arc captures key elements of wovenness: high-trust friendship, rigorous internal critique, a shared moral imagination around technological progress, and—crucially—the willingness to convert private dialogue into coordinated public action that reshapes policy and culture.

Aslan Fellowship
A small group of friends launched Aslan Fellowship as a way for them to work together in building impactful, for-profit ventures.  Aslan gathers people with extensive business experience and capital to deploy those resources into founders with impactful business enterprises.

From Personal Growth to Collaborative Action

Wovenness represents the summit of personal growth because it calls us beyond ourselves. Instead of pursuing excellence in isolation, we channel authenticity, empathy, and moral courage into collaborative endeavors. These endeavors may involve launching sustainable enterprises, crafting cultural narratives that inspire hope, or redesigning institutions for greater equity and opportunity. When we join with others who share our deep commitments, our desires no longer remain personal aspirations—they become shared visions that spark innovation, challenge limitations, and foster lasting well-being.

Practical Steps to Nurture Wovenness

How do we move from understanding wovenness to creating it in our own communities? Below is a practical roadmap that helps turn these principles into action.

1. Form a Core Circle and Practice Vulnerability
   
   • Gather a Small Group: Invite people who share a dissatisfaction with the status quo—or a vision for positive change—within any arena (social, cultural, economic, spiritual).
   • Model Honesty and Openness: Begin each gathering with personal check-ins—sharing joys, struggles, lessons learned, or lingering doubts. This creates an environment of empathy and sets the foundation for deeper collaboration.
     
2. Articulate a Shared Moral Imagination
   
   • Clarify Your ‘Why’: Through dialogue, pinpoint the values, hopes, or injustices you’re collectively drawn to address.
   • Create a Vision Statement: Write a concise summary of the future you want to see. Think of it as your guiding star, helping you maintain alignment as you pursue bold ideas.
     
3. Start with a Pilot Project or Experiment
   
   • Choose One Tangible Goal: Move from discussion to action with a specific, time-bound project. This might involve shaping policy, creating a new product, hosting a community event, or launching a social venture.
   • Begin in Small Steps: Define clear roles and responsibilities. Celebrate early wins to build momentum and confidence.
     
4. Host a Retreat or Workshop
   
   • Create Extended Space: Go beyond your usual hour-long meetings. A full or half-day retreat fosters deeper trust, creativity, and strategic alignment.
   • Facilitate Reflection: Include personal storytelling, moral/ethical reflections, and brainstorming sessions about your collective impact.
   • Confirm Next Steps: Conclude by assigning tasks, setting timelines, and scheduling follow-up so everyone leaves with clarity.
     
5. Invite New Perspectives to Catalyze Innovation
   
   • Seek Diverse Input: Occasionally bring in guest mentors or outside voices to challenge assumptions, spark fresh insights, and refine your strategies.
   • Embrace Creative Tension: Encourage respectful debate and recognize that difference in experience or worldview can ignite breakthroughs.
     
6. Implement a Rotating ‘First Among Equals’ Leadership Model
   
   • Rotate Facilitation: Let different members lead discussions or coordinate tasks. This fosters co-ownership and keeps the group adaptable.
   • Lead by Embodiment, Not Authority: In a woven community, leadership focuses on service, humility, and nurturing others, rather than top-down direction.
     
7. Reflect, Refine, and Adapt
   
   • Regular Check-Ins: After each milestone or phase, pause to discuss what worked, what didn’t, and how individuals and the group are growing.
   • Embrace Iteration: Stay open to changing course if necessary. Wovenness is a continual process of learning, both relationally and creatively.
     
8. Share Your Story and Multiply Impact
   
   • Document the Journey: Track milestones, lessons learned, and personal transformations through notes, videos, or blog posts.
   • Encourage New Circles: As your circle gains traction, offer your learnings to others who want to form their own “circle of instigators.” This not only scales your impact but also strengthens a broader movement of wovenness.

Pause and reflect: How might inviting outside voices  (step 5) both strengthen and complicate group cohesion?

Conclusion: Become an Instigator

The progression from windows to wounds, wholeness, worldview, and finally wovenness charts a path toward deeper self-leadership and moral refinement. Wanting from wovenness transforms personal integrity and inner healing into collective ambition and outward impact. Here, authentic relationships, moral imagination, and generative leadership merge into a tapestry of trust and purpose.

In these woven circles, personal struggles and evolving values become threads in a larger design that promotes human flourishing, whether through social reforms, entrepreneurial ventures that create enduring value, or cultural shifts that inspire new forms of hope. By stepping into a “circle of instigators,” you join the ranks of those thoughtful, committed citizens who, in countless ways, have changed—and continue to change—the world.

Pause and reflect: What single action can you take this week to move toward forming—or deepening—a circle of instigators?

Bibliography

• Cate, Wesley. “A Circle of Instigators.” Faith Driven Entrepreneur Blog.
• Farrell, Michael P. Collaborative Circles: Friendship Dynamics and Creative Work. University of Chicago Press, 2001.
• George, Bill, and Doug Baker. True North Groups: A Powerful Path to Personal and Leadership Development. Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2011.
• Girard, René. Deceit, Desire, and the Novel: Self and Other in Literary Structure. Johns Hopkins University Press, 1965.
• Greenleaf, Robert K. Servant Leadership: A Journey into the Nature of Legitimate Power and Greatness. Paulist Press, 1977.
• Mead, Margaret. Quotation widely attributed.
• Oelwang, Jean. Partnering: Forge the Deep Connections That Make Great Things Happen. McGraw Hill, 2022.
• Zaleski, Philip, and Carol Zaleski. The Fellowship: The Literary Lives of the Inklings – J.R.R. Tolkien, C.S. Lewis, Owen Barfield, Charles Williams. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2015.